Who decides who has the “Perfect Bikini Body?”

30 May
Fiesty Felines

Who knew someone took the time to set up and take this photo? How did they get the cats to stay so still? Where did they get those swimsuits? the chairs?

Hello and welcome to another rant on Suffragette Kitty.
Our focus today is the global fascination with “bikini body.” Google it. You’ll see headlines that read:

  • The 20-Minute Pilates Workout: 4 Weeks to a Bikini Body

  • The 50 Best Sports Hottie Bikini Bodies | Bleacher Report

  • Heather Graham steals the show with her amazing bikini body

  • bikini babes – hottest bikini bodies on the beach

  • Bikini Body Workout: Workouts: Self.com – SELF Magazine …

(If you really want a surprise, Google ‘photos  of cats in bikinis,’ like my publicist did. Who knew this was such an Internet sensation?) I could fill this whole page with similar titles, including ‘Bikini Body Diet,’ ‘Bikini Body at 50,’ and so on, but you get the idea.

My big questions are: “Why are you women today so obsessed with bikini bodies?” and “WHY ARE YOU ALL SO OBSESSED WITH WHO HAS ONE AND WHO DOES NOT?”

We see celebrities from tweens to their 70s posing in front of cameras showing off their “bikini bodies,” as if slim legs,  flat stomachs and professionally cleaned pearly white teeth are all we are about.

We are not opposed to wearing bikinis, in fact, my publicist was known to string on teeny, tiny “swimwear” (actually, she learned the embarrassing way that “swimwear” was not really designed for “swimming.”) That was a few decades back, and quite frankly, she looked great. Sorry you missed it.

Bikinis weren’t billion dollar merchandise in the mid-1800s, (we were all about the “layered look,”) but I am quite sure I could have flaunted my stuff too, had I chose to. I was a slender five feet 6 inches with an athletic build and not shy about much. But alas, my marmee, Abba May Alcatt, even discouraged my sisters and me from wearing corsets.

Marmee was so ahead of her time. Since when does the shape of a female dictate the finer qualities of her personalities? And who is the one who gets to decide who has a “perfect body” and who doesn’t? And if he/she decides you don’t have one, does that mean you can’t wear a bikini if you want to? Is there a secret committee out there combing the beaches and poolsides worldwide rating every woman’s swimwear? Who says we have to listen to them? Are there no other more pertinent issues bubbling up, that we can spend time, money and media attention on who looks best in a bikini?

My publicist and I don’t get it. We are not promoting unhealthy, lazy lifestyles, here, just reality. Does a layer of fat on the sides and varicose veins on the thighs discount our intellect? Does an expired gym membership disgrace us socially? Should we not watch a movie because one of the actors no longer rocks a bikini? Does not working toward the perfect “bikini body” impair our ability to mother? Be a supportive partner?  Friend? Colleague? Artist?

Nothing changed for my publicist as her bikini collection was gradually cast aside for something a little more befitting a 50-something working mom. Why should it for anybody else? Your thoughts.

xo, LMA


4 Responses to “Who decides who has the “Perfect Bikini Body?””

  1. Carol Jamison May 30, 2013 at 7:10 pm #

    Right on, Louisa May Alcatt!!!! Healthy is good, obsessed with having a bikini body, actually kind of makes a person boring, and kind of sad, if that is their most important objective in life!

    • louisamayalcatt June 2, 2013 at 8:15 am #

      Thanks Carol, With so many opportunities to strive for, why waste any energy on something so superficial? xo LMA

  2. Sheila June 3, 2013 at 12:28 pm #

    Love this! What a different world this would be if we placed less value on physical looks and more value on things that really matter. The cat bikini photo made me laugh though!

    • susanwbailey July 3, 2013 at 10:34 am #

      Love this too. I’ve never had a bikini body and never wanted to go to the work to get one. I admit, I loathe looking at myself these days but hey, it’s a choice I’ve made. I want to use my time for other pursuits (like writing about you, Louisa! :-))

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